Epiphany on a Rainy Day

I want to speak to someone. Someone famous. Someone that has done something great.

I am not opposed to talking to someone who is my age doing what im doing or maybe more behind than me because I can learn something of value from any other human being. I want to talk to someone who is where they wanted to be all along. Who is living the dream. I want to ask them. Did you ever feel the way I am feeling right now? Stretched--ready to explode from whats going on inside--implode from whats going on outside--excited-- jealous--scared--in l0ve with so much and afraid to lose it before you even tried to get it?!

I know what i want to do. But how the hell am I going to pull all of this off? I feel like there is someone in the world resisting me, saying no before i even try. But i know that person is a version of me that i can erase. Its something that i can decide against. Maybe its like acting, all this training, thinking and in the end its all about forgetting it all and freeing yourself. The teachings become your body. You are not aware they are there but they are at all times moving you through your life and making you recognizable to people. It is your cells. It is your brain. It is everything correct or seemingly incorrect you can do.

I really wish i knew someone who was living the epitome of their dream right now. I really want to talk to someone.

I can't wait, I CAN'T WAIT, I CAN'T WAIT!!

I want to do so much and it scares me that i will just be ordinary. I will not settle. I never have. And i do not care if i am overwelhming to anyone. I have so much going on inside i cannot fathom being any other way right now.