Tranquilo

Not just one of the latest Vitamin Water flavors (which is damn tasty, might i add).

From this moment forward i pledge to chill out. Like for real this time. Two conversations with a great friend taught me something. One conversation involved speaking mostly about qualities we would required people to have if they were to be friends with us. One of mine was of course imagination. one of his was the ability to sit around and do absolutely nothing with him. Like, just sit around and be peaceful. Just taking in the world, etc., with no judgement letting thoughts flow in and out of the mind as they will without dwelling too much on a particular subject.

Now this is something we do often together whether we are sitting around or taking one of our walks to remember. I have done it with others. I have done this with myself too. Well actually i haven't done it with myself lately and that shows. I have felt busier than i have felt since last yr, and last yr i was in my senior yr of college/ working/ acting in 3 different shows and projects for classes/ interning/ somehow socializing. i have been a little too concerned with A WHOLE LOT lately and the effects of it are visible in all sectors of my life from my home, to my body to, my health ( i got sick for the first time since i went veg a yr and a half ago)

Anyway, the second conversation barely had any words at all. But it was probably one of our best convo's ever though. We were drained from a long day of auditioning and starving, and that was partly the reason we were not so talkative. There was a lot of silence but it wasnt a bad thing and in about a half an hour i felt renewed and full again. Better actually. Reminded me of the times were i would do this regularly. Meditative. Just taking the time to feel the moment rather than dictate it is essential to life and should take up more of our time than planning and running up that endless flight of stairs that will get you to your happiness. The creative people we are, anytime a noteable thought would pop in to our minds we would talk about it briefly but the we would settle back--

Sorry OMG i just got up and reenacted the monologue i just saw on a rerun of Desperate House Wives.

--And well yeah i guess that proves it!! I need to act. I need to do these things. it is a part of me and has been ever since i was a little girl and pictured credits rolling in my mind before i entered my fake kitchen playset to play house with my cousins. And yes it requires me to be intense sometimes, and yes it can clutter the mind-- but taking time just to be..well just to "be" is what puts things in perspective. In a better perspective than making to do lists and planning to plan plans. I have goals. But instead if striving and barely surviving for them, i choose to live the peace the peace that comes with achieving them. And i can access them at any time including this present moment.